Four Decisions: Flunking Out of College

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As I have mentioned in my previous blog, I believe there are four major decisions in life that create the foundation of who and where we are. These choices play a critical role in not only where we are presently, but also the direction of our future paths.

By using hindsight to reflect upon these choices, it is easier to see what went right and what went wrong. It is very important for everyone to take time and reflect on their own major life events in order to recognize similar opportunities as they arise, or to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

A Strategy for Learning From Mistakes

The first of my four major life decisions is one that is very difficult to share. It involves one of my most critical letdowns in life, and I am still embarrassed from it: flunking out of college. Although this is dark cloud that I am sometimes reluctant to reflect upon, it does have some silver linings that has empowered me to become person I am now. The cliché of “you learn more from your mistakes than your success” is ringing through my ears as I write this:

Upon graduating high school I was pretty directionless when it came to long-term goals, and like most teenagers, I was hoping “to find myself.” I thought this would be best explored by going off to college, and after signing up for a truckload of student loans, I enrolled at Central Washington University hoping for a direction.

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I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do for a career, and I was hoping to randomly discover a passion from the variety of somewhat useless courses all freshmen must take. My parents (especially my father) were very controlling and strict with me, and I enjoyed this new opportunity to make my own decisions for once. The first decision I made: stop going to class.

What a wonderful idea! I soon found that my passions were hanging out with friends, staying up late doing moronic things, and being “too tired” to go to class each day. I forgot what my purpose was in being at college, and began to drift along through life. Soon an academic warning, led academic probation, which further led to an academic suspension.

I thought for a moment that the academic suspension would finally help me wake up. After getting one more chance from appealing the suspension, I fell into the same pattern once again, and was soon completely kicked out of college. I moved back home and rented a house with some friends and was very ashamed and embarrassed.

What did I learn?

I learned that in order to walk a path in life, you have to be passionate and interested in the direction it leads. I also learned that sometimes if the right choice doesn’t present itself at first, it’s okay to take some time and reflect upon your options before you force the issue. It’s okay to be different, to take the path less traveled, and find the direction that works best for you, no matter how unconventional it may be.

Looking back at this decision it provides great clarity when I face present and future major life decisions. I have recalled this moment several times when I feel like: “I must make a decision this very moment or the world will end as I know it.”

Learning From Mistakes

Like the old saying goes, “measure twice, cut once,” it is better to take an extra moment, examine what you want in life, pause to ponder the options, and make the best decision you can.

8 Ways to Turn Disappointment into Success

This decision, although poor in its present moment, has been invaluable to me since:

After taking a year off, working in construction and other various jobs, I was able to realize what I wanted to do in life. When I returned to college at Washington State University, I was more passionate about my education, and gave it my full effort. In three years I was able to graduate with honors, and followed my bachelor’s degree one year later with a master’s degree in education.

Did this lesson pay off? YES, big time! I am more resilient, stronger, and goal oriented. I now pursue all of my goals with a plan in mind, instead of wandering aimlessly and hoping for the answer to come along.

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Four Decisions Theory

What are the four most important decisions you've made in your life?

What are the four most important decisions you’ve made in your life?

In a previous blog about social cognition, I mentioned how my mother and I stumbled upon a homeless man in downtown San Francisco while sightseeing. This is a continuation of that story as after that moment, my mother and I had another interesting conversation that I like to call: “The Four Decisions Theory.”

When reflecting on what may have happened to this man that became homeless, I said, “Whatever happened to that guy, I bet it wasn’t just one thing, it was probably a few critical events or choices in life that led to him sleeping on that doorstep.”

It was at this time I invented my Four Decisions Theory. I feel that everyone’s present place in life can be quantified into four major decisions that were either made correctly or incorrectly.

Keep in mind that this theory is nowhere near scientific or proven, and is nothing more than a hypothesis of a man who may have had one too many Irish Coffees that night. But even still, the more I think about it and share it with others, the more it seems to gain strength and momentum.

My sample set is still embarrassingly small, but nevertheless I feel it is still worth sharing in order to build a conversation that you can have with your own self about the victories and defeats in designing the outcomes of your life.

Think back to the four most important decisions in your life. I’m sure yours had the same components as mine.
-significant risk and fear of the unknown
-hard to predict outcomes
-significant ripple effects in each option
-definitive change, no going back once your choice was made
-each choice led in opposite directions

How to Make a Difficult Decision Using Reason And Intuition

We can never be certain of where our next choice will take us.

We can never be certain of where our next choice will take us.

We are judged by our choices, especially when these options play critical roles in our long-term successes and failures. Everyone faces those moments when there is a fork in the road and a direction must be chosen. These four decisions shape our character, and made us who we are for better or for worse.

The Four Major Decisions that Changed My Life:
1. Flunking out at my first attempt at College
2. Staying away from my family for three years
3. Going to Washington State University
4. My Self-Improvement Plan of 2009

I’m sure you’re asking, why Four Decisions? Why not 3, 10, or even 100 for that matter? I guess four just sounded best at the moment, but it could definitely vary for each individual. My main goal is for you to explore the major decisions you have made thus far in your life, and reflect on what made them either a good or bad choice.

What four major decisions changed your life? I encourage you to keep following this blog as I explore all four of my major life decisions in more detail in future posts.

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