Four Decisions: Self Improvement Plan

What is stopping you from being happy?

What is stopping you from being happy?

Introduction:

This post is another contribution to my four part series I have titled The Four Decisions Theory. In a previous blog post, I have described how there are four major decisions in life that create the foundation of who and where we are. These choices play a critical role in not only where we are presently, but also the direction of our future paths.

By using hindsight to reflect upon these choices, it is easier to see what went right and what went wrong. It is very important for everyone to take time and reflect on their own major life events in order to recognize similar opportunities as they arise, or to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

Self Improvement Plan of 2009

As I was lying under a beach umbrella in Maui in the summer of 2009, many thoughts began crossing my mind. As a school teacher with only three more weeks of summer vacation left, I was greatly dreading going back to work.

I wasn’t a happy person at this time in my life, and even with the trade winds blowing the sand off my toes, my negative thoughts riddled my emotions. At this moment I did a mental check of my feelings, I was able to look at my own emotions from an outside perspective. These observations were not good. How could I be so negative and depressed in Maui, my favorite place to be in the entire world? Were things really this bad?

The main emotion that angered me was the feeling of being stuck in life. I was in a failing marriage, extremely overweight, and I was not satisfied with my career. Year after year I was watching my friends and family make progress in their lives, but I felt as if I wasn’t going anywhere, and this lack of accomplishment was making me depressed.

The next day I returned to Reno from Maui, and stepped on the scale to find that I had reached the heaviest weight I had ever been, 335 pounds. I had half-heartedly attempted diets in the past, but never put the effort needed to see any success. Once again I was drowning in self-defeating and negative thoughts, and saw no end in sight to my misery.

It was at this moment I looked to past successes in my life and felt a renewed confidence. I was able to go to college and be successful on my own, and I realized that whenever I have put my mind to goals in the past, I was successful. I realized that my problem was that I had no plan to be successful, that I wasn’t really trying my hardest, and the reason I was miserable was because of my own apathy.

It was at this moment that I came up with my Self-Improvement Plan. I began to list the areas of my life in which I was miserable, and came up with a plan to fix it. My first goal was to find a way to get healthy, and be in better shape. I realized that I was an emotional eater, and that I needed to work on my fitness in order to improve my self-esteem.

Weight Loss:

Realizing that I needed to lose close to 100 pounds or more, I needed to take this goal seriously, and consider all options. Working out by myself wasn’t going to work. I needed someone to hold me accountable, and help me through this endeavor. I attended a weight-loss surgery seminar, and decided that I would be a good candidate for a lap-band. In order to get the lap-band, I had to meet with a nutritionist for 12 weeks to show my dedication to weight loss. She helped me by also counseling me through my emotional eating patterns, and giving me positive support along the way. Prior to my weight loss surgery, I had lost 40 pounds on my own, and found the energy and confidence that was missing in my life.

Me in 2009 :(

Me in 2009 😦

Career:

I love being a teacher, but it has begun to wear me down over the past 7 years. I was frustrated at the stagnation in my career, having maxed out my pay cycle with 25 years to go, and getting little input into the curriculum and pedagogy strategies that were being forced down our throats. Every night I was working 10 or more hours with little appreciation for my principal or parents, and I had had enough. I came up with the idea of getting my MBA after my weight loss surgery.

Even though I knew I wanted to change my career, I felt that putting all of my effort to each goal individually would help me to be more successful. Once I got control of my health and fitness, I began studying for the GMAT, and was accepted into the MBA program at the University of Nevada. By surrounding myself with talented and ambitious individuals in my MBA program, I feel like I am a talented individual gain, not “just at teacher,” and I am excited about my future professional career.

Teachers can only do so much. #badparenting

Teachers can only do so much. #badparenting

Marital Awakening:

During this improvement plan, I was also beginning to realize how troubled my first marriage truly was. Instead of ignoring this issue, I was able to see the future of my ex-wife and my own, were drifting in different directions. We began going to marital counseling, and after many months, we realized that we were at an impasse, and no compromises could be reached. My ex-wife is a wonderful person, and out of respect to her, I do not wish to divulge any more details. After realizing my ex-wife and I both wanted different things in life, we decided that a divorce was best for both parties.

It was a very difficult time for me, but I was very fortunate to find the love of my life soon after I divorced. As the old saying goes, “you’ll never find right person in your life until you let go of the wrong person.”

What I Learned

It was the series of choices in my Improvement Plan that allowed me to realize that we are never truly “stuck” in life. Most of the obstacles we feel surround us are entirely mental. Think of the biggest goal you had in your life, or even in your youth? What stopped you from going after it? Was someone physically standing in your way, or did your own fear make your dreams seem unattainable?
Life is too short to not be happy, and if you want things bad enough, you CAN and WILL achieve it. The hardest part is getting started.

As the old saying goes. . . .

As the old saying goes. . . .

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Four Decisions: Going Back to College

If at first you don't succeed. . .

If at first you don’t succeed. . .

Introduction:

This post is another contribution to my four part series I have titled The Four Decisions Theory. In a previous blog post, I have described how there are four major decisions in life that create the foundation of who and where we are. These choices play a critical role in not only where we are presently, but also the direction of our future paths.

By using hindsight to reflect upon these choices, it is easier to see what went right and what went wrong. It is very important for everyone to take time and reflect on their own major life events in order to recognize similar opportunities as they arise, or to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

Going to Washington State University:

All decisions in life have some sort of inherit risk to them. Risk and reward are often in direct correlation when it comes to life decisions, and this choice was the greatest gamble in my life. Luckily for me, it also produced my greatest reward.

Now many of you who know me are saying, “What about meeting your wonderful wife? Or what about the birth of your newborn child?” I know with certainty that I would never have met my wife, or be the father I am to my child, without the education and life experiences I gained by going back to college.

As I mentioned in my first life decision, Flunking out of College, my first attempt at higher education failed miserably. I wasn’t focused or mature enough to handle the responsibilities of my coursework, and soon became overly distracted by the social life of college. After taking two years off from school to work in construction, the service industry, and as a garden expert at a hardware store, I felt I was ready to go back to school.

Now I have never really been good at timing, and this decision to go back to college came merely two weeks before the first day of fall semester. Realizing that I needed a fresh start, I decided to apply to Washington State University, and prayed that they could process my application in time.

Even though I knew that I could enroll later in the winter, for some reason I felt a need to go immediately, and hoped that I would receive an acceptance letter. I checked online, called the admissions office, and paced in front of my mailbox daily. Each day I rode a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment until I was finally accepted three days before the semester started.

Washington State University is in Pullman, Washington, about a five-hour drive from where I lived. As soon as I got my letter I quit my job, moved out of the house I was renting with my best friend, loaded everything I owned into the back of my truck, and drove to WSU.

risk-and-reward

This five-hour drive was slightly nerve-wracking as I soon realized that I didn’t have a place to live, a course schedule, or even a job. I also had never been to Pullman other than to attend a WSU football game many years earlier. Even with the enormity of this gamble I was taking, I felt confident that I was going to be successful.

After arriving in Pullman, I was able to find a job, get a schedule, and a place to live in all in the same afternoon. Call it fate, coincidence, or divine intervention, but everything fell into place. From the onset of my first class, I found a passion I never had before in my studies, and I graduated with honors in three years. I even went further with my education than I planned, earning my master’s degree in education.

Life is about risk, and often we get too preoccupied with our failures to get back on the horse and try again. This was a major success in my life, and led me to being the man my wife fell in love with, and the caring and compassionate father I hope to become. It has also fueled my love of learning, and inspires me now in pursuit of my MBA. I wouldn’t even want to guess where I’d be had I not followed my heart and gone back to school.

Go Cougs!

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Four Decisions: Flunking Out of College

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As I have mentioned in my previous blog, I believe there are four major decisions in life that create the foundation of who and where we are. These choices play a critical role in not only where we are presently, but also the direction of our future paths.

By using hindsight to reflect upon these choices, it is easier to see what went right and what went wrong. It is very important for everyone to take time and reflect on their own major life events in order to recognize similar opportunities as they arise, or to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

A Strategy for Learning From Mistakes

The first of my four major life decisions is one that is very difficult to share. It involves one of my most critical letdowns in life, and I am still embarrassed from it: flunking out of college. Although this is dark cloud that I am sometimes reluctant to reflect upon, it does have some silver linings that has empowered me to become person I am now. The cliché of “you learn more from your mistakes than your success” is ringing through my ears as I write this:

Upon graduating high school I was pretty directionless when it came to long-term goals, and like most teenagers, I was hoping “to find myself.” I thought this would be best explored by going off to college, and after signing up for a truckload of student loans, I enrolled at Central Washington University hoping for a direction.

WhichWay

I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do for a career, and I was hoping to randomly discover a passion from the variety of somewhat useless courses all freshmen must take. My parents (especially my father) were very controlling and strict with me, and I enjoyed this new opportunity to make my own decisions for once. The first decision I made: stop going to class.

What a wonderful idea! I soon found that my passions were hanging out with friends, staying up late doing moronic things, and being “too tired” to go to class each day. I forgot what my purpose was in being at college, and began to drift along through life. Soon an academic warning, led academic probation, which further led to an academic suspension.

I thought for a moment that the academic suspension would finally help me wake up. After getting one more chance from appealing the suspension, I fell into the same pattern once again, and was soon completely kicked out of college. I moved back home and rented a house with some friends and was very ashamed and embarrassed.

What did I learn?

I learned that in order to walk a path in life, you have to be passionate and interested in the direction it leads. I also learned that sometimes if the right choice doesn’t present itself at first, it’s okay to take some time and reflect upon your options before you force the issue. It’s okay to be different, to take the path less traveled, and find the direction that works best for you, no matter how unconventional it may be.

Looking back at this decision it provides great clarity when I face present and future major life decisions. I have recalled this moment several times when I feel like: “I must make a decision this very moment or the world will end as I know it.”

Learning From Mistakes

Like the old saying goes, “measure twice, cut once,” it is better to take an extra moment, examine what you want in life, pause to ponder the options, and make the best decision you can.

8 Ways to Turn Disappointment into Success

This decision, although poor in its present moment, has been invaluable to me since:

After taking a year off, working in construction and other various jobs, I was able to realize what I wanted to do in life. When I returned to college at Washington State University, I was more passionate about my education, and gave it my full effort. In three years I was able to graduate with honors, and followed my bachelor’s degree one year later with a master’s degree in education.

Did this lesson pay off? YES, big time! I am more resilient, stronger, and goal oriented. I now pursue all of my goals with a plan in mind, instead of wandering aimlessly and hoping for the answer to come along.

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Four Decisions Theory

What are the four most important decisions you've made in your life?

What are the four most important decisions you’ve made in your life?

In a previous blog about social cognition, I mentioned how my mother and I stumbled upon a homeless man in downtown San Francisco while sightseeing. This is a continuation of that story as after that moment, my mother and I had another interesting conversation that I like to call: “The Four Decisions Theory.”

When reflecting on what may have happened to this man that became homeless, I said, “Whatever happened to that guy, I bet it wasn’t just one thing, it was probably a few critical events or choices in life that led to him sleeping on that doorstep.”

It was at this time I invented my Four Decisions Theory. I feel that everyone’s present place in life can be quantified into four major decisions that were either made correctly or incorrectly.

Keep in mind that this theory is nowhere near scientific or proven, and is nothing more than a hypothesis of a man who may have had one too many Irish Coffees that night. But even still, the more I think about it and share it with others, the more it seems to gain strength and momentum.

My sample set is still embarrassingly small, but nevertheless I feel it is still worth sharing in order to build a conversation that you can have with your own self about the victories and defeats in designing the outcomes of your life.

Think back to the four most important decisions in your life. I’m sure yours had the same components as mine.
-significant risk and fear of the unknown
-hard to predict outcomes
-significant ripple effects in each option
-definitive change, no going back once your choice was made
-each choice led in opposite directions

How to Make a Difficult Decision Using Reason And Intuition

We can never be certain of where our next choice will take us.

We can never be certain of where our next choice will take us.

We are judged by our choices, especially when these options play critical roles in our long-term successes and failures. Everyone faces those moments when there is a fork in the road and a direction must be chosen. These four decisions shape our character, and made us who we are for better or for worse.

The Four Major Decisions that Changed My Life:
1. Flunking out at my first attempt at College
2. Staying away from my family for three years
3. Going to Washington State University
4. My Self-Improvement Plan of 2009

I’m sure you’re asking, why Four Decisions? Why not 3, 10, or even 100 for that matter? I guess four just sounded best at the moment, but it could definitely vary for each individual. My main goal is for you to explore the major decisions you have made thus far in your life, and reflect on what made them either a good or bad choice.

What four major decisions changed your life? I encourage you to keep following this blog as I explore all four of my major life decisions in more detail in future posts.

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What “CAN’T” I do?

Look out Business World, here I come!

Look out Business World, here I come!


As I near the end of my MBA program, I get this question a lot:

“What do you plan to do with your degree?”

I feel I get this question more often than other MBA graduates as even though my bachelor’s degree was in business, over the past seven years I have been an elementary school teacher. Although I am switching career paths, I have learned a lot from my Master of Education degree, and I feel that I am better prepared than most candidates.

From Teaching to Business: 5 Attractive Assets Experienced Teachers Offer the Business World

Every day I practice my leadership skills amongst a challenging audience. I have unmotivated followers that require unique and individualized attention. I have to design and implement instructional strategies that will not only meet their academic needs, but also inspire them to do their best. Are you underestimating the talent needed to complete these tasks? Then volunteer for one day at your child’s school, and I promise you that your opinion will quickly change.

After evaluating all that I do on a daily basis, my response to their question is: “What can’t I do?” Conceited? No, I just feel extremely well trained by working the several positions I fulfill every day as a teacher:

Planner/Developer:
As a teacher it is critical that I am very organized, and have every moment of my day planned to maximize my classroom’s efficiency. I have developed routines, and procedures throughout the day to maximize smooth transitions between subjects, limit distractions, and increase the focus of my students. Although every minute is accounted for, I must also be flexible throughout the day when unforeseen events occur. I must take into consideration the completion times of tasks, as well as develop a curriculum that best meets the individual needs of all 25 of my students. Everything I do is with the consideration of 25 “unique jobs” in mind.

Record Keeper/Project Manager
I am in charge of keeping, updating, and organizing every piece of data that comes in and out of my office (classroom). Data must be accurately reviewed, quantified, and made easily accessible for my immediate supervisors. Progress must be monitored in weekly increments, and all correspondence with outside parties (parents/principals/psychologists etc.) must be documented and processed. In my profession differentiated instructional plans are continually designed and implemented on a per student basis. Managing a few projects would be nice, I’m used to doing 25 at once.

Presenter/Public Relations
I am very proficient in public speaking, whether it is to students, adults, or other professionals. I have become quite skilled in this area, and have no issues speaking clearly, confidently, and energetically to groups of any size. I utilize each moment to share my passion, my joy, and my enthusiasm with everyone around me.

Marketing:
Marketing was my passion before I entered the field of education, and I feel it is one of my greatest strengths. So what am I selling to my students you might ask? SUCCESS. Try getting a student motivated to do an assignment in a subject they struggle with. Teach them a math formula for the 10th time, and reap the reward when the light bulb goes off in their head and they finally “get it.” Each every day I sell my passion for their future success, doing my best to create diligent and caring citizens that will push through their problems and find creative solutions. When they say they can’t, I show them how they can, one “sales call” at a time.

Manager/Executive
In my classroom I have complete and total control in the design and implementation of the rules, procedures, and routines with my students. I design the curriculum, discipline plan, and every regulation that we all follow. I lead by example and hold them to the same standards I hold myself to. I inspire teamwork and positive interactions in which we all work together and learn from each other in supportive environment. Teachers have been practicing transformational leadership long before it was a popular catchphrase.

Are Teachers Really Leaders in Disguise?

Maybe all I need to do is pick a direction and go?

Maybe all I need to do is pick a direction and go?

The list goes on and on, so what can I do in the business world? I am ready to make waves of impact wherever I land. After reflecting on all I do know, my answer remains the same, “What CAN’T I do?”

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